The Power of a Positive No

Saying no is an important skill to develop at any stage of your career because it retains the most important asset in life: your time. As the investor Pedro Sorrentino put it, “If you don’t guard your time, people will steal it from you".

You need to say no to whatever isn't leading you toward your goals. You need to say no to distractions.The great art is to learn to integrate the two – to marry Yes and No. That is the secret to standing up for yourself and what you need without destroying valuable agreements and precious relationships.

Saying No positively means first of all saying Yes to yourself and your own deepest needs and values. When one executive in a family business had to say No to his father and boss’s demand that he take care of the business over the Christmas holidays for the Nth year in a row, he drew on a deeper underlying Yes to his family and his self-respect. He told his father: “Dad, my family needs me and I intend to spend the Christmas holidays with them.”.The executive, in a respectful tone, set a clear limit: “I will not be working this Christmas.” He did not end with a No, however, but with a Yes, a positive proposal. “Here’s my proposal for how we can get the necessary work done in the office while I spend the time I need with my family.”

A Positive No in short is a Yes No Yes. The first Yes expresses your needs and values, the No asserts your power, and the second Yes furthers your relationship. The key is respect – for yourself and for the other person.

No is the key to defining your strategic focus and every important Yes therefore may require a thousand Nos.

Source:”The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes ” by William Ury